


Sleeping Arrangements

by NanashiJones



Category: DCU, Teen Titans (Animated Series)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, I have a lot of Raven and Starfire feels, Romance, learning how to love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:04:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanashiJones/pseuds/NanashiJones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Could I share a room with you, friend Raven?”</p>
<p>“What,” Raven said, squinting in frustration at the taller girl.</p>
<p>“I have had… difficulties sleeping lately. After battle,” Starfire admitted. “I was hoping that similar to when I was a child, shared company might...” She glanced away, spinning hair on the end of her finger.</p>
<p>A small part of Raven registered that something in this situation was not quite right. Starfire wasn’t being very Starfire, and Raven should have asked why. But Raven was very tired and she just. Wanted. Sleep.</p>
<p>“Fine,” Raven said, admitting her into her room. “I don’t know how comfortable you’ll be on the floor, but it’s all yours.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, friend Raven! I am most grateful for your aid!”</p>
<p>'Is this weird?' Raven thought, as she lay in bed, focusing on the oddly hypnotic rhythm of Starfire’s snoozing. 'I know we’re both from different planets and cultures, but this feels a little weird. Maybe it’s me. No, it’s kind of weird.' She yawned, her eyelids drooping. I’ll have to talk with her about it… in… the morning...'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Could I share a room with you, friend Raven?”

The day had been long. Extra long. The Titans had gotten into a scrap with something called Exterminator, or Exhaultor, or Ex-something, and it had taken nearly all afternoon to deal with. Then, Mad Mod had shown up, which meant time travel headaches. So, by the time everyone got back to Titan’s Tower, nobody was really up for hanging out. Raven, in particular, wanted nothing more than to _sleep_.

But then, Starfire had stopped at Raven’s door, rather than continuing to her own room.

“What,” Raven said, squinting in frustration at the taller girl.

“I have had… difficulties sleeping lately. After battle,” Starfire admitted. “I was hoping that similar to when I was a child, shared company might...” She glanced away, spinning hair on the end of her finger.

A small part of Raven registered that something in this situation was not quite right. Starfire wasn’t being very Starfire, and Raven should have asked _why_. But Raven was _very_ tired and she just. Wanted. Sleep.

“Fine,” Raven said, admitting her into her room. “I don’t know how comfortable you’ll be on the floor, but it’s all yours.”

“Thank you, friend Raven! I am most grateful for your aid!”

“Yeah, yeah...”

Raven changed into her sleepwear, then helped Starfire set up a comforter and pillow next to the bed. They traded “goodnights,” and Raven waited for exhaustion to override her latest bout of insomnia.

As usual, it took a while. When Raven heard snoring, she glanced over the edge of her bed and saw that Starfire was out like a light..

Raven sighed, rolling back into her sheets.

_Is this weird?_ she thought, focusing on the oddly hypnotic rhythm of Starfire’s snoozing. _I know we’re both from different planets and cultures, but this feels a little weird. Maybe it’s me._

To Raven’s surprise, the snoring was surprisingly soothing as she finally started to ease into sleep.

_No, it’s kind of weird._ She yawned, her eyelids drooping. _I’ll have to talk with her about it… in… the morning..._

 

* * *

  

Raven never got a chance. The Titans burst out of bed to deal with back-to-back emergencies that ran them thoroughly into the ground. So, when Starfire showed up, again, the next night, Raven just let her in. And the night after that. _And_ the night after that.

After the fourth night, Raven decided that the situation had _officially_ gotten a little weird, but it seemed that she had already passed the point where she could turn Starfire away. Starfire was a friend, even if she was behaving oddly. And as a friend, Raven couldn’t throw her out. She could, however, deal with the uneven sleeping arrangements.

“Look, let’s- you can’t keep sleeping on the floor, if this is going to be a thing,” Raven pointed out.

Starfire cocked her head. Raven thought she looked a little silly- nested in a bright, purple-pink comforter on the floor and wearing her pink PJs, patterned with little white bunnies.

“I do not understand,” Starfire replied.

“Let me see if Cyborg has a cot you can borrow, okay? You’re making me feel guilty.”

Cyborg did have a cot, but it squeaked every time Starfire even breathed, which didn’t help either of them sleep.

The next night, Raven oiled the cot, and both girls sank into blissful slumber. But, the next morning Raven banged into the cot, and tripped over Starfire as she got out of bed.

“Are you alright?” Starfire asked, as she leaned over the edge of the cot to peer at the undignified heap of a faceplant that was Raven.

“We’re moving the cot,” Raven growled into the floor.

The next night, they moved the cot along the foot of Raven’s bed, and both girls sank into blissful slumber, again. But, in the middle of the night, Starfire stole Raven’s comforter leaving the other girl to wake, freezing.

Once Raven recovered her blanket from a freshly woken Starfire, Starfire sat meekly on her cot, looking nervous. Raven studied her like a high level spell.

“Okay,” Raven said, rubbing at the bags under her eyes. “Do you plan on sleeping here tomorrow night?” Sweet Azaroth, she just wanted one full freaking night of  _sleep_ .

“Yes, if it is-”

“Yes, it’s fine, Star! We’ve been over this!” Raven snapped. Starfire cringed, slightly. Raven sighed. “I’m sorry. It’s just…” And it came to her.

They’d shared sleeping space on missions, before. Starfire’s cot was already right against the bed. Maybe. Just… maybe...

Raven sighed, again, and pulled Starfire’s comforter up onto the bed.

“Raven, what are you doing? I do not-”

“You’re coming up here,” Raven said, simply. “The cot’s not working out and I can’t leave you on the floor, so we’re doing this.”

Starfire smiled brightly.

“But this isn’t permanent,” Raven said, shooting Starfire an even look. “We’re just… doing this until whatever’s going on with you is resolved, okay?”

Starfire nodded. “Okay,” she said, floating up onto one side of the bed.

“And stay on your side, alright? I have enough problems sleeping. Being touched just makes it worse.”

“I will strive to honor this request,” Starfire replied.

Despite the assurance, Starfire’s arm was draped across Raven’s chest before an hour passed. Raven was going to shout Starfire awake, until she saw the other girl’s serene expression.

Raven paused. She’d seen Starfire asleep on the floor, and in the cot. She slept restlessly, with a furrowed brow. During the day, she never looked fully rested, for all that she spent enough hours in bed. But, now… she looked relaxed.

Raven remembered when she had finally relaxed. It was a week after she’d banished her father, Trigon, and she realized she wasn’t Apocalypse Girl any more.

She’d been in the commons room, and Beast Boy had gotten on her nerves. Again.

“Get it?” he teased.

Raven glared at him, annoyance burning in her gut. She stood up, marking her place in her book.

_Go to your room, meditate this away. Don’t let it get away, don’t let-_ Don’t let what? Raven halted mid-motion, which made Beast Boy squint at her.

She didn’t  _need_ to meditate her annoyance away. Father- Trigon was defeated. She wasn’t a portal for his power any more. She  _wasn’t_ the Apocalypse Girl. Sure, her powers were still tied to her emotions, but…

She arched an eyebrow at Beast Boy, and then slapped him upside the head.

“Ow!” he shrieked, rubbing the spot quickly. “Guess you didn’t-”

Then, she hugged him. “Thank you,” she said.

“Uh… I’m confused,” Beast Boy said.

“It’s okay,” Raven said, smirking at him. “I’m annoyed. And that’s okay too.”

Then she patted him on the shoulder and floated back to her room. She hadn’t meditated after the incident, just let her annoyance fade away as she read the rest of her book.

Recalling her own ease, and the content expression she’d seen in the mirror, could Raven deny Starfire her own hard-found peace?

With a resigned sigh, she left Starfire’s arm where it was and closed her eyes. So used to waiting out her insomnia, Raven didn’t notice how quickly she fell asleep, nor when Starfire moved in the night to pull her closer.

 

* * *

 

Raven didn’t really let herself think about what was going on with Starfire until a few weeks later, when she remembered to return the cot to Cyborg.

“So, Star’s done crashing in your place, huh?” he said, taking it back.

“No, she’s still with me,” Raven replied.

“Whoa,” Cyborg said, cot dangling in his hand. “She’s on the floor again?”

“No, she’s…” Raven coughed, suddenly aware of what she was about to say. “We share a bed.” She rushed to add, “She stays on her side. Mostly.”

“Uh. Huh,” Cyborg replied. “And that’s not… weird? For you?”

Raven made a face. “I don’t really know any more. It just kind of happened.”

Cyborg shrugged, shoving the cot into its storage space. “Well, as long as y’all are cool with it, it’s cool with us.” He smirked as he turned back to Raven. “I won’t tell Beast Boy.”

“I appreciate that.”

As she left Cyborg’s shop, Raven realized two things: 1) the statute for asking Starfire about this had really,  _really_ lapsed, so 2) she needed a Starfire expert.

That night, Raven waited until Starfire had completely nodded off, then slipped out of bed. She moved a pillow in reach of Starfire’s midnight-cuddling habit, then floated noiselessly out of her room.

She found Robin in the commons room with his cape draped over the back of a chair. He was sitting at a personal computer, talking with someone on the other end.

“Hey, Robin?”

He looked up from the screen.

Raven caught a glimpse of a Bumblebee from Titans East on the screen. She smiled and waved at Raven. Raven waved back.

Robin turned back to the screen. “I’ll get back to you, Robin out.”

Bumblebee mock saluted, and the screen went blank.

“Hey Raven. What’s up?” he said, turning fully around in his chair.

She floated to a nearby chair, where she sat, cross-legged.

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” she asked.

“Sure,” he replied.

“It’s kind of personal.”

“Okay,” he said, shoulders visibly tensing.

“What happened between you and Starfire?”

He went still, save for his eyes widening slightly behind the mask. “Wow, uh. Yeah. That’s personal, alright,” Robin said.

“Look, normally, I’d stay out of it. What happened to you two after Tokyo is your business. But she’s... kind of staying in my room.” Raven skirted the fact that Starfire was also staying in her bed. This conversation was already awkward enough.

Robin blinked. “Oh.”

His gaze slid sideways as he thought. She knew not to rush him. The Boy Wonder tended to fight when he felt cornered, either literally or figuratively. After a few moments, he nodded and looked back at Raven.

“So, yes, after Tokyo, things between us were good. We were on a very positive slope. But after a few weeks, it was clear she wanted something I couldn’t give: my secret identity.”

Raven nodded.

“Initially, that wasn’t an issue. We were a good team. We… cared for each other. It was helpful. But after Tokyo…” He leaned back, arms crossed, gaze sad and a touch nostalgic. “Look, we’re teammates and I consider you guys my family on a lot of levels, but… I still need to keep a bit back. The mask for one.” He tapped it. “Stays on. All the time.”

“You know, we could probably work it out, if we wanted to,” Raven said, Spock eyebrow in full effect.

“You say that now...” Robin smirked. His expression cooled after a moment. “But, yeah. Starfire wanted to know my true identity. I wasn’t prepared to cross that line.”

He sighed. “That decision... I really hurt her,” he said, shoulders hunching slightly, his voice a touch raw. He shook his head, straightening up. “So, we decided to call it off and put some distance between ourselves.”

Raven nodded. Even Beast Boy had noticed the tension thrumming between the two. Thankfully, it didn’t seem to affect the team in action, or if all the Titans were in the same room together. But if any  _one_ of the Titans were caught in the same room as Robin and Starfire- the awkward vibe was memorable.

“And then she ended up in my room,” Raven said.

Robin shrugged. “That’s between you two. I can’t give her what she needs. If she finds that with you...” A small, but sincere smile blossomed on his face. “Well, then I’m happy for her.”

It was Raven’s turn to blink at him. “What?”

“Look, I’m not gonna be a jerk or anything. I’m already the reason we broke up. You two have seemed closer lately. Kind of like how she and I were... Um. Ahem.” The boy detective had the grace to look away.

“So what? I’m her rebound cuddle?” Raven asked, more confusion than hurt in her voice.

“I don’t think it works that way for her. Look, she’ll tell you, and I can assure you, she  _will_ tell you when she’s worked it out. For now, I think she just needs a friend.”

“She couldn’t be friendly with Silkie?”

“You ever own a dog? Or… alien caterpillar thing?”

“No.”

“Then trust me, having a pet is nice. Having a person is  _way_ better,” Robin said, smiling.

He rose, starting to do up his collar. Swirling the cape, he attached it, then offered a hand to Raven. Gentlemanly, calm, totally-did-not-just-talk-about-his-ex: Robin, the Boy Wonder.

“That help?” he asked, as he assisted her out of her chair.

“Um, yeah,” she said, unsure of exactly  _how_ it helped.

 

* * *

 

Another day, another bad guy off to jail.

_Maybe I could figure out this whole Starfire thing if we had five minutes of actual downtime,_ Raven thought, as the team returned to Titans Tower.  _I’ll see if I can meditate on what Robin and I talked about. I just need to find my center and-_

“You were most impressive!” Starfire declared, knocking Raven’s thoughts over.

“It was just a fight,” Raven said, pulling back her hood.

“But, what a battle! Neither Cyborg nor I could break through his defense. You are a truly gifted warrior, Raven.” Starfire was practically beaming as she wrapped herself affectionately around Raven’s arm.

Against her better judgment, Raven blushed. But only slightly.

“I’m just doing my part,” she replied, turning down the hallway that led to her and Starfire’s rooms. She looked back at Starfire. “I mean really you-”

That’s when Starfire kissed her.  _On the_ _**lips!** _

Raven blinked.

Before she could fully register what was happening, Starfire pulled away and unwrapped herself from around Raven’s arm. She smiled a shy little Starfire smile, which only distantly registered with Raven. Raven’s thought processes were still very much hung up on Starfire  _kissing_ her.  _On the_ _**lips!** _

“Uh...” Raven said, intelligently.

“A… gift,” Starfire said, her voice softer. “For doing your part. If you wish to think it that.”

She then turned on her bright, purple boot and flew down the hall, to her own room, for a change. Which was just as well, because Raven was having trouble with English at the moment.

Raven remained rooted in the middle of the hallway, staring after Starfire, until the boys caught up with her. Cyborg leaned around, waving a hand in front of Raven’s face. She blinked.

“What?” she asked.

“Starfire?” Cyborg replied, smiling.

“Uh, yeah,” Raven said, trying to get her head back on straight.

Cyborg nodded sagely. “She tried to get me to sing her post-battle victory song, once, too. I felt the same way.”

_Somehow,_ Raven thought.  _I doubt that._

 

* * *

 

 

Despite rushing off after… the kiss, Starfire didn’t seem hesitant about returning to Raven’s room that night. As Starfire once again rested against Raven’s shoulder, snoring softly, Raven decided she needed more outside help than Robin had been able to provide.

Slipping out of bed, she once again slid the pillow into Starfire’s arms. Opening a portal to her Realm, the in-between place where she drew upon her strongest magics, she slipped into it and came back out dressed in her uniform.

She checked Starfire one more time, pulling the comforter up, making  _sure_ Starfire was holding the pillow… Raven shook her head. She was stalling.

Once again entering her Realm, she focused on who she needed to talk to, and felt the usual rush of dark energy as she teleported.

The local Starfire expert hadn’t yielded the answers she needed. And the… kiss changed things. She didn’t know how to talk about this with Cyborg or Beast Boy.  _Especially_ Beast Boy. And while some of the girls in the other Titan teams might be able to offer insight, Raven was a founding Titan. That made her more of a leader than a teammate in a lot of their eyes.

So, she opted to go outside her usual circle of superhero acquaintances. Robin may be reluctant to speak to the senior heroes, but Raven didn’t share his reticence.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven gets some outside advice about her new situation.

Princess Diana stepped out onto the secluded balcony of the Themysciran Embassy. Dressed casually in a baggy green sweatshirt and grey sweatpants, she looked impressively mundane. Well, as mundane as an Amazon could look, in New York.

Tea in hand, she gazed across the street to the quiet park. Sighing contentedly, she sipped her chamomile. The late night was crisp and refreshing, and the sounds of the city were muted by the trees in the park. The moment was perfect for reflection, until the sound of an unexpected presence behind her shattered her calm.

Whirling, Diana brought up her bracelets. Then relaxed, and laughed.

Raven hovered in a patch of shadow next to the balcony door. She held Diana’s tea in a cloud of dark magic- caught just before it could smash on the stone.

Diana chuckled some more, and eased out of her fighting stance. “Well. Good evening Raven. You know, you nearly gave me a heart attack.”

Raven parted fully from the shadows, and brought the tea up to where she could sniff it. Then she floated it back to Diana.

“What brings you all the way to New York?” Diana said, leaning back on the ledge. “Is everything fine with the Titans?”

“The Titans are fine,” Raven said. “I’m... not really here about  _hero_ business.”

Diana looked Raven over with curious, blue eyes. “Okay,” Diana said. “Then what  _does_ bring you here at this time of the night?”

“Um,” Raven said, glancing down slightly. “What do you know about girls?”

Diana furrowed her brow, lips pursing slightly. “I… know what I know. Can you be more specific?” she asked.

Raven frowned. “What you know about friendships? Intimate ones.”

Diana blinked. “Intimate,” she said.

Tilting her head, she squinted. “Raven, I don’t mean to broach, but are you in a sexual rela-”

“No!” Raven said, her hands shooting up. “Sweet Azaroth no! It’s-” Raven exhaled, briefly glancing away to organize her thoughts.

“Okay, it’s like this- I was raised by my mother, and a bunch of monks, in a monastery. I understand family, I understand friendship- heck, I understand being friends with  _Beast Boy_ of all people, but… like, serious friendships? Where I’m sharing sleeping space and it feels… different?” Raven shrugged. “It didn’t really come up, you know?”

“Oh,” Diana said, with a nod and a smile. She sipped her tea. “And you thought to come to me?”

“You’re from an island of warrior women,” Raven said, flatly. “I’ve seen how close soldiers can get. And I figured Themyscira wasn’t much of a monastery.”

Diana burst into a full-throated laugh. “No, it most certainly was not.” She tapped her mug idly, thinking. “How about this- come inside, let me make you some tea, and you can tell me what brought you here, from the beginning?”

Raven hovered, considering. Then, she let her feet touch down. Pulling back her hood, she nodded and followed Diana into the Embassy.

 

* * *

 

After accepting the steaming mug with the Themysciran Embassy’s seal on it, Raven looked around the pristinely clean kitchen. She wondered if the Titans could ever have something this nice.

“This must be really hard to clean,” Raven commented, easing onto a nearby stool.

Diana nodded, joining her. “With as many guests as the Embassy has? I’d imagine. Fortunately, Ferdinand, our cook, takes great pride in his kitchen. He assures us the effort is worth it.”

Raven nodded, sipping the tea. “Mm. Good.”

“I try,” Diana replied, with a grin. “So, you’re here about friendships, intimate ones, but not  _that_ way…” Raven blushed at Diana’s teasing tone. “Between women. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Raven replied, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Start from the beginning then,” Diana offered.

Raven nodded, and took a calming breath to let her emotions settle out. “What do you know about my teammate, Starfire?” she asked.

Diana was thoughtful for a moment, then smiled. “Impressive warrior, loud laugh,” she said. “Good girl. We talked after... The Annihilator?”

Raven nodded. “Yeah, that big thing. I thought I saw you two chatting after.”

“We had some common ground,” Diana said, with a little laugh. “She offered to spar with me.”

“Sounds like Star,” Raven said. “But, yeah. She and Robin were dating until a few months back and things changed from there...”

Diana listened as Raven laid out everything that had happened between her and Starfire. She talked about the shared bed, consulting with Robin, and finally-  _the kiss_ . Diana was a good listener: she didn’t interrupt, gave Raven her full attention, and when Raven finished she felt a bit lighter for having gotten it all off her chest.

Diana sipped her tea. Then, she said, “Have you considered that Starfire is attracted to you?”

“What?” Raven spluttered, nearly dropping her mug. She set the cup down quickly, cheeks warm and stomach clenched. “Why- She, she’s Star! She was with Robin for crying out loud!”

Diana cocked her head. “Raven, you do know that sexuality is not strictly predictive, correct?”

Raven nodded stiffly.

“Okay, good. Have you asked Starfire if she’s bisexual? Possibly pan, or demisexual?”

“Noooooo!” Raven said, her cheeks feeling even hotter. “And I’m not going to. Starfire isn’t… I’m the Apocalypse Girl!”

“Yes. And yet, she’s still in your bed,” Diana pointed out.

“Can we try a different approach?” Raven asked, rubbing a finger against her temple, her heart beating faster than she thought it should.

“Very well,” Diana said. “Are you attracted to Starfire?”

Raven went bright red, and her face set in an impassive mask. “I have not thought about it,” she said, mechanically.

Diana’s lips quirked in a smile, and she placed her tea on the countertop. “Alright,” she said, leaning against the counter. “How  _do_ you feel about her?”

Raven blinked a few times, breathing in and out, piecing her thoughts together. “She’s Starfire,” she replied. “She’s my friend. She’s the only other girl Titan. Well, the only main girl Titan. She’s Tamarae-”

Diana held up a hand.

“Those are facts  _about_ her,” Diana said. “How do  _you_ , Raven, feel about Starfire?”

Raven blew out a breath.

“I... don’t know,” Raven said. “I haven’t really  _felt_ anything for a long time. I don’t- There’s no basis for how she makes me feel.”

“Then, let’s start simple: do you enjoy her company?”

Raven nodded.

“Do you seek her out?”

“Not really. She mostly comes to my place.”

Diana raised an eyebrow at Raven. “Her coming to you- is this a problem?”

Raven paused. Her hand raised to her chin as she thought it over. “It... should be.”

“‘Should be?’” Diana said, eyebrow raised.

“I’ve been alone most of my life,” Raven replied, firmly.

Diana tilted her head at that.

“Not  _literally_ . Here.” Raven tapped the spot on her chest where her heart was. “My emotions  _had_ to be kept under tight control, or things would get really bad. So, I could only let my friends get so close. Being alone was kind of my baseline. I didn’t hate it, I didn’t love it, it was just who I was.”

She shrugged, sighing. “Now? I don’t have that problem. I don’t have my emotions so tightly controlled anymore, which is kind of new. But, having people this close to me  _is_ entirely new.”

“That must be very upsetting,” Diana said. “New feelings, new emotions you can’t explain.”

Raven nodded, looking into her tea and watching her reflection waver.

“It is. I’m- I don’t interact with people the same. I feel things in my gut more. And Starfire makes my gut... flutter? Sometimes. I don’t know what it means.”

Raven shook her head.

“Sorry, I didn’t really organize my thoughts on this.”

“No, it’s fine,” Diana said, with a smile. “Let’s see…”

Diana’s gaze drifted up in thought and she tapped her foot idly. The image she presented made Raven smile slightly.

Even though Diana didn’t really have a secret identity, Raven remembered how in a fight, Wonder Woman seemed… regal, fierce, and untouchable. But here, in the kitchen? She was just Diana, a tall woman in a green shirt and gray pants. Normal.

Raven knew she herself could be fierce and untouchable when dealing with supervillains, but she never got to Diana’s level of normal in her downtime. She was always… Apocalypse Girl, or the Unemotional One, or the Creepy Chick. Maybe that’s why this was all so confusing: she didn’t have enough normal in her. If she was more normal, would what Starfire’s doing make any more sense?

“I still think,” Diana started, breaking into Raven’s thoughts. “That you should talk with Starfire. There may be some cultural confusion going on. I know when I first came here, I confused a few of my female friends.”

She looked down, a blush, and a touch of honest shame on her face. “One of the first women I met here mistook my affection for romantic advances, and I nearly lost her over the misunderstanding.  _So._ If nothing else, talk with Starfire about how she acts with other women back home. Otherwise...”

Diana shrugged her powerful shoulders in resignation.

“She has, essentially, just ended an important relationship in her life. She may need you as a close friend, and things have just become strange due to culture clash. Or,” Diana locked eyes with Raven. “She may be looking for more from you than friendship.”

Raven blushed, breaking the gaze. “Yeah. Okay,” she said, noncommittally.

“Does she make you uncomfortable?” Diana asked.

“Not really,” Raven said. “Just confused.”

“I urge you to clear that confusion soon, Raven.  _Talk_ to her. She is your friend, right?”

“She’s- they’re  _all_ more than that. They’re my family.”

Diana smiled. “Then give your family that consideration at least. Clear your confusion with her. You may even clear confusion she has about you.”

Raven cocked her head, squinting at Diana. “I don’t think Starfire is all that confused.”

“You’d be surprised,” Diana smirked, sipping at her tea.

A shuffling noise and a snort caught Raven’s attention and in came-

“Whoa,” she said, looking up.

Looming in the doorway was a for-reals Minotaur. Granted, he was a Minotaur unexpectedly wearing a baggy, wide-neck t-shirt, pj pants, and glasses on the end of his nose, but he was a  _real_ Minotaur.

He regarded Raven a moment, then turned to Diana.

“Diana,” he said, his voice bass-deep and rumbling. “Why didn’t you tell me we had visitors?”

“Everyone  _was_ sleeping, Ferdinand,” Diana replied, teasing. “I’m more than capable of making tea on my own.”

Ferdinand snorted. “That may be, but can you offer my ginger snaps? I don’t think so.” He trundled into the kitchen, opened a pantry, and started digging into its depths.

“You don’t have to-” Raven started.

“Nonsense. You’re visiting. I will feed you.”

“You’d impugn his honor if you didn’t,” Diana said, smirking.

“Uh…” Raven said.

“Ah, here they are.” He set down a small jar full of caramel brown cookies.

“You know, I could offer those, myself, if you didn’t hide them,” Diana teased, again.

“If I didn’t hide them, they wouldn’t be around to offer,” Ferdinand replied, getting out a tupperware container of what Raven thought might be sugar chunks.

He set the ginger snaps on a pan and evenly sprinkled them with the sugar.

“What brings you to our humble dwellings, young hero?” he asked as he set the cookies to warm in the oven.

“Just… um. Looking for advice,” Raven said.

Ferdinand nodded. “You must be pretty smart. Diana is very good for advice,” he said.

Raven glanced at Diana, whose eyes were locked on the sugar melting over the surface of the cookies.

She smiled slightly. “Yeah. Yeah, she is.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raven's done plenty of talking to other people, and now she has to talk to Starfire. If her heart can stop trying to explode.

Raven took a deep breath, her nerves jangling. “Star, I know that we’ve been-” She flexed her hands, thinking. “Star, I appreciate you as a friend-” She stared intently, eyebrow twitching. “Star, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever met. Wanna go steady?”

Raven sighed at her reflection in the mirror, then lay her head on the small table.

“This shouldn’t be so hard,” she groaned.

“Things that count usually are.”

She jerked upright at the new voice. Cyborg was leaning against her doorframe.

“You left your door open,” he said, rapping on the metal.

“Yeah. It’s kind of a new habit I’ve picked up,” Raven responded, rubbing at her forehead.

“Would this be a new habit that maaaaaybe has to do with Starfire?”

Raven looked up. Cyborg’s arms were casually folded as he leaned against the door, his smile knowing.

“Yeah, it does,” she said, sighing. After a moment, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Is that a problem?”

His smile widened. “Do you think that’s a problem? For _me_?”

Raven rolled her eyes, rubbing at her face. “Okay, sorry.”

“No big,” he said, shrugging. “I can tell you’re worked up.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Raven said, letting out an exasperated breath. “I _think_ I like her? Like like? And I _hate_ how that sounds.” She slumped back to the table, resting her forehead again. “Emotions. Suck.”

Cyborg laughed. “Yep, they do at that.” He walked in and placed a hand on her shoulder. “They also open doors and let you know what’s going on. They make you human.”

Raven looked up at Cyborg.

“Cy, what do you think?”

He looked at her seriously, his mismatched eyes holding her gaze.

“I think you’ll do what’s best for both of you. And if things get rough, you’ve got your friends.”

Raven shared one of her rare smiles. Cyborg returned the favor.

“Thanks,” she said.

“Don’t mention it.”

He patted her on the shoulder and left the room.

Raven looked in the mirror one last time and nodded.

 

* * *

 

Starfire was in the kitchen with Beast Boy. He wore the expression of the completely trapped.

“And when I am done with this dish, you can try Blonsporgler, which is a delicacy made using only Tremfla plants! I had Galfore send me some directly from Tamaran. It is in keeping with your diet!”

“Sounds great...” Beast Boy groaned, with a pained smile.

“Hey, Beast Boy,” Raven said.

He turned and his expression lit up. “Raven! Is there a Titans emergency?!”

“No, but Cyborg was looking for you.”

“Oh,” Starfire pouted. “But he will miss the Blonsporgler...”

“I’ll give it a try,” Raven volunteered. “You go on. I need to talk with Star, anyway.”

“Hey, sure! Another time, Star,” he said, hopping down from the kitchen stool.

As Raven floated to the kitchen island, Beast Boy rushed by whispering, “Thankyouthankyouthankyou.”

Once Beast Boy was gone, Raven settled on one of the stools.

Starfire, who had been happily stirring the lime green mush in the bowl, slowed a little. She turned to face slightly away from Raven.

“You wish to speak?” she said.

“Yeah,” Raven said.

But Raven didn’t say anything. The only sound was the slow, methodical clack of the spoon against the bowl. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea...

“Is this about us sharing a bed?” Starfire asked. “You have not said anything yet, except ‘fine, come on’ and ‘do not touch me there.’”

Raven inhaled, felt her heart rate pick up, and exhaled.

“Yeah,” she said. She rested her hands on the countertop. “Look, Star? I’m not going to beat around the bush, here, are you?”

Starfire stopped stirring.

“I believe that clear words make you stronger,” she said. “I know that sometimes I earn laughter or confusion because of that belief, but I would rather that than not be myself.”

She turned to smile at Raven. Raven’s stomach fluttered up in response. The boys’ smiles _definitely_ didn’t do that.

“I know,” Raven said. “It’s… something I like about you.”

Starfire’s smile widened, but it was brief. As if caught with her hand in the cookie jar, she looked away from Raven, blushing slightly.

“I believe I have unrailed the topic,” she said, voice soft.

“Derailed,” Raven corrected, politely. “But, yeah, we’re kind of losing focus here.”

The girls were quiet for a moment. Raven clenched her hand into a fist.

“Star?” she asked.

Starfire looked up. “Yes?”

“Why _do_ you come to my bed?”

Starfire sighed. She set the bowl down and took off her apron. Floating up and over the counter, she sat across from Raven.

“I am not sure,” she said.

“You aren’t?”

Starfire shook her head. “I just know that when I go to your bed, it is warm and so am I. When I do not, I am not as warm.” She looked down. “This has… inconvenienced you?”

“I’m not sure,” Raven said, with a wry smile. She leaned her head against her hand. “Seriously- I know I don’t mind it.”

Starfire brightened, meeting Raven’s eyes again. “You don’t?”

“No. But when you… when you kissed me- ”

Starfire blushed.

“I do mind _that_ . It’s... a little more, ahem, _intimate_ than a permanent sleepover.” Raven bit her lip, focusing intently on Starfire. “Why did you… you know.”

Starfire’s eyes dipped down, and her blush deepened.

Raven’s heart thudded heavily in her chest and her stomach twisted itself into knots. She suddenly realized she was more scared now than when she’d faced down her father. And that had been about starting an _apocalypse_.

“Were you… trying to learn my home language or something?” Raven asked, reaching for straws.

“No,” Starfire replied, voice soft.

“So you were…”

“Expressing affection in an Earthly manner, yes,” Starfire said, her gaze still down, her cheeks still flushed.

“Oh.”

Starfire didn’t look up. Raven slumped on the stool, too stunned to think.

“Was it… objectionable?” Starfire asked, her eyes returning to Raven’s.

It was Raven’s turn to blush, though not with Starfire’s fierceness. “No, it was-” Raven coughed. “It was okay.”

“But, you said that you minded it,” Starfire said, squinting, her eyebrows knit together.

“Because of everything else going on!” Raven snapped. She bit her lip, stung by her own force. With a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down.

“Look, Starfire, you’re- we’re sharing a bed. You _kissed_ me. You- you know what that means, right?”

Starfire nodded. “Yes. I have done the same with Robin. We-”

“Whoa. Don’t wanna know,” Raven said, throwing up her hands.

Starfire smirked. “I was going to say we learned much. _I_ learned much of Earth’s courting methods.”

It was like all the air had gone out of the room. Starfire could go without air if she needed. Raven could not. She tried desperately to find oxygen again. Meditation breathing, practice meditation breathing.

Raven licked her lips. “Is- is that what you’re doing?” Raven asked, her breath catching. “C- courting me?”

Starfire blushed, and looked away, again. She seemed to be practicing her own breathing- very carefully.

“Perhaps. What if... I were to say yes?” she said, eyes darting briefly to Raven.

“I’d ask if you’re crazy,” Raven replied. “Have- have you _met_ me? I’m kind of the opposite of ‘courting’ material. For you, I mean.”

Confusion marred Starfire’s expression. “I do not understand.”

“Do I need to list reasons?” Raven said. “We don’t have the same interests, we don’t have _remotely_ similar personalities. I’m quiet, you’re loud, I’m dark you’re…”

Raven gestured to all of Starfire. Starfire cocked her head in response.

“Let’s go with… cheerful,” Raven said, gulping. “You share _everything_ , it took me three years to admit I was a walking time bomb-”

“I know you came from Azaroth,” Starfire said.

“Yeah. So does the rest of the-”

“That when you were meditating as a child, you preferred a window, to better see the monastery’s garden.”

Raven blushed. “Okay, you remembered what I told you when we swapped bodies, what does that have-”

“Can I ask you a question, Raven?” Starfire said.

Raven expelled air. “Sure. Why not,” she said, resting her head in her hand.

“Do you remember how my ability to fly works?”

Raven raised an eyebrow. “Sure. ‘Unbridled joy.’ It short-circuited when you and Robin-” She coughed. “Let’s just say it was kind of the team’s tip-off that there was trouble in paradise.”

Starfire nodded. “Do you know where I found my new joy?”

Raven shook her head.

“You.”

Raven wondered if it was possible to pass out from all the blood in her suddenly rushing to her face. Because it felt like every drop was in her cheeks right. Then.

“When Robin and I- after,” Starfire said. “At first, I would sit with Silkie and talk with him, but still, my heart ached. There was a tear in it, and I knew I had Sracha.”

“Sra- The hot sauce?” Raven asked, confused.

Starfire pursed her lips. “I do not know about the hot sauce. Sracha is a hot and burning tear in your soul, leaving you vulnerable and weak. At best, I could call upon my righteous fury.” She smirked. “I had plenty of that.”

Raven chuckled dryly. Starfire smiled.

“You see, on Tamaran, when one of us is in Sracha, we gather our friends close. We sing, we laugh, we find joy again.”

“Sounds like an Earth custom to me,” Raven said.

“One I am happy our worlds share,” Starfire agreed. “Spending time with all my Titan friends helped to heal the Sracha- the tear in my heart. But the time I spent with you…” Starfire smiled thoughtfully. Raven was surprised she could even _do_ that. “That was different. That was a gift that sometimes comes after Sracha- Camile”

“What’s… Camile?” Raven squeaked.

Starfire reached out her hand and cupped Raven’s cheek. Raven was acutely aware of the warmth in that hand.

“Camile is when the heart is not just healed, Raven. Camile is when the heart is born anew, as if the tear never happened,” Starfire said, her voice earnest. “I knew joy again, thanks to you Raven. You let me fly.”

Raven’s breath hitched, and she batted away Starfire’s hand. “I- What did- _how?_ ”

“You let me in,” Starfire said. “You gave me comfort when I needed it.”

“I yelled at you for touching me,” Raven said, with a nervous snort.

Starfire smiled. “Only the first time.”

Raven stuttered.

“And I always felt relaxed with you. Warm and content.”

“Relaxed?” Raven said, mouth hanging open more than she liked to admit. “In _my_ room. You felt relaxed?”

“Yes,” Starfire replied, simply, still smiling.

Raven rubbed at her face. “You, who has a room so pink it hurts my eyes, were comfortable in _my_ room. The _Creepy Girl’s_ room?”

Starfire nodded, smile unwavering.

Raven ducked her head, breaking eye contact. “I can’t.”

“Cannot what?” Starfire said.

Raven stepped off the stool, and floated away. Starfire frowned, following.

“I can’t be your joy,” Raven said, pulling her hood up. She turned to face the wall.

Starfire hovered just behind her, Raven could _feel_ it.

“But you _are_ my joy,” Starfire replied, simply. “I cannot unmake what you bring me.”

Raven snorted. “How can _I_ bring anyone joy?”

“You are a hero.”

Raven sighed. “Besides that. Saving people, fighting monsters- that’s different. But…” She shook her head. “I was the Apocalypse Girl. I’m half-demon. I can’t get emotional. I don’t bring joy to- Maybe you’re confused.”

Starfire made a noise. “I am many things, Raven. But I am not confused.”

The girls hovered quietly near the ceiling. The setting sun cast Starfire’s shadow on the wall, next to Raven’s. It looked so close.

“I also am not confused that you have a nice smile,” Starfire said.

“What?” Raven spun to face Starfire, who was looking at her fondly.

“Your smile. I have always found smiles... attractive,” she said. “They are like the heart on display. They were what drew me to the Titans- you all had kind, caring smiles.”

Raven snorted, looking away from Starfire. “You know you called ‘kind’ _weak_ at the time, right?”

“I was having ‘the bad day,’” Starfire replied.

Raven couldn’t help it, she chortled. This had the effect of making Starfire smile brightly.

“Now, I see the kind smiles for what they are,” Starfire said, floating closer. “And yours is not only kind, it is hopeful, and makes you beautiful.”

Raven blushed, looking down.

“It is also brief.” Starfire reached out and tilted Raven’s head up, smiling. “But when I see it, it is my joy.” She blinked slowly, showing off her rich, green eyes. “Perhaps that is why I came to your room? That maybe in private, I would see more of your smile?”

“Nobody wants to see my smile,” Raven said, her eyes locked with Starfire’s.

“I do.”

Raven’s cheeks warmed up again. “You’re crazy,” she said.

“Perhaps,” Starfire said.

It felt like Starfire was getting closer. It was like her hand on Raven’s chin was pulling her inexorably toward Starfire. Those big green eyes. Those little red eyebrows. That cute nose. Those lips...

Raven jerked away from the touch, tilting her head down.

“I- I can’t.”

“Why not?” Starfire asked. “Do you not care for me?”

Raven was silent for a long time. “You know I do, Star. You’re my family.”

“You know that is not what I was asking. Do you care for me, Raven? Yes or no?”

Raven lifted her eyes up to meet Starfire’s. She was so sure, so certain. So, Raven closed her eyes.

“I…”

“Yes?”

“I… I need to think. About it.”

Starfire dipped in the air. “Oh,” she said. “You need time.”

“Yeah. I just- I have to. This-.” Raven sighed, looking away. “I need to think about this.”

Starfire dropped to the floor. She wobbled, catching herself. Looking up at Raven, her face was- Raven averted her gaze. She didn’t want to see.

“I should- The Blornsplorger. It will go bad if I do not tend to it,” Starfire murmured. She turned and went to the kitchen.

Raven floated back down. She watched Starfire wrap some plastic over the top of the bowl, and smile faintly back at her.

“I… will go to my room now,” Starfire said.

“Okay,” Raven said.

Starfire started walking and paused at the door. “Thank you. For being honest,” she replied.

Raven felt like she wanted to apologize, but she didn’t know for what.

Starfire exited, walking down the corridor to her room. Raven decided she could use some privacy, too.

She tread a few feet behind Starfire, since their rooms were on the same hall. Her mind felt strangely blank as she watched Starfire’s hair swish back and forth. Raven was supposed to be thinking about this, so why wasn’t she?

They turned a corner.

She was exhausted mentally, she knew that. She’d thought a lot lately. And, she’d talked a lot, too. She’d talked to exes, adults, friends. She felt like she’d talked to everyone. So why did she still need to think? What did she need to think about? Why had she _said_ that?

Raven could see her room. It came before Starfire’s.

Okay, if she was being fully honest- Raven was nervous. She was scared. What Starfire offered- it was so beyond anything Raven knew. It had been a fight just to wrap her mind around the Titans being her true family that would do anything for her. But love? That one-on-one, let’s hold hands, and go for walks, and kiss _love?_ That one-on-one family that was like no family ever? With _her?_

Impossible. But...

Starfire was even with Raven’s room.

Starfire from Tamaran, who had opened her heart to friends after her own family sold her off was Impossible. Raven the Apocalypse Girl, who had rebelled against Destiny for her friends was Impossible.

Starfire walked past Raven’s room.

Impossible happened all the time.

A black wall appeared in front of Starfire. She blanched, staring at it. Turning, she saw Raven, arm outstretched as she used her power. Her hood was back, revealing her determined face.

“No,” she said.

“No?” Starfire asked.

“That’s not your room,” Raven said. She opened her door. “This is.”

Starfire’s eyes brightened. She floated a little off the floor.

“You- I do not understand,” she said.

“I thought about it,” Raven said, dissipating the wall. “I want to keep sharing my room with you, Starfire. And maybe…” She looked down, biting her lip. When Raven looked up, she let her fear show. She showed her fear, and her nervousness. She showed her hope. “Maybe I can share the rest of me? If you still want me?”

Starfire’s smile went from ear to ear. She rocketed across the hallway to wrap Raven up in a hug so fierce, Raven _swore_ she heard her ribs creak.

“Of _course_ I still want you!” she crowed.

“Can’t… breathe…” Raven choked.

“Oh! I am sorry. I was excited.”

Raven patted her ribcage. “I could tell.” She looked up at Starfire. It was weird. It was like seeing her for the first time all over again. That feeling of drawing closer tugged at her again.

“Star?” Raven said, face turned up.

“Yes?” Starfire replied, her eyes lidded.

“I’m… going to express affection in an Earthly manner. Okay?”

“That would be nice.”

And it was.

 

* * *

 

Later on, Raven came back to the commons room. The conversation the boys had been having died almost instantly.

“Hey,” she said, floating to the refrigerator. She got out milk and a bottle of mustard.

Robin glanced at Beast Boy and Cyborg. “Hey,” he said. “So, you, ah, talk with Star?”

“Hm? Yeah, yeah,” Raven said, fetching two glasses. “We sorted it out. We’re going to take it one day at a time, but it looks like she’s staying with me. At least, for now.”

Cyborg smiled. Beast Boy squinted. “Really?” Beast Boy asked. “How does that even-”

“Continue that line of thinking, and you _will_ regret it,” Raven said. She sounded almost cheerful.

Beast Boy snapped his jaw shut and mimed locking his lips down.

“Anything you need?” Cyborg asked, as Raven poured her milk.

“Not right now,” she replied. She paused. Set the milk down. “But… If- if the one day at a time keeps going, is there a bigger room we can use?”

“Yeah, I got somethin’ I can whip up,” Cyborg said, grinning.

“Thanks.”

She squirted the mustard into the other glass- Starfire liked to drink it. It didn’t make much sense to Raven, but Starfire liked it, so she could bring her... girlfriend her favorite drink.

Girlfriend. _That_ would take some getting used to.

She put the milk and the mustard back in the fridge, then waved to the boys. “Well, I’ve kind of had a day,” she said. “So, I’m gonna be in my room. With the door _closed_.”

The boys made various noises of assent, agreement, and understanding that to knock was to court death.

Raven smiled. Twice in under an hour. She hoped she didn’t wear her face out.

“Oh, and Robin? Cyborg?” They looked at her, expectantly. “Thanks for the advice,” she said, and floated out.

Beast Boy, true to form, couldn’t even wait till she was out of earshot. “Guys- did you-? Did Raven, like, _smile_? Like, a bunch?!”

“Yeah,” Robin said. “Yeah, she did.”

“And what about what she was wearing?”

Robin coughed. “That was, um. That’s Starfire’s... pajama... shirt.”

Raven’s smile stayed in place all the way back to her and Starfire’s room. She opened the door and smiled at Starfire playing with Silkie on the bed, looking surprisingly sweet in one of Raven’s black tank tops.

“Mind if I share a room with you?” Raven asked.

Starfire smiled. “It _is_ our room, girlfriend Raven.”

Raven blushed, then shut the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a long time coming, you have no idea. This fic cooled its heels in my Drive for two years before I finally figured out an ending, and it was sooooo worth it. I hope y'all enjoyed.
> 
> I want to point out that Ferdinand is NOT an OC, but from Greg Rucka's run on Wonder Woman. Also, he's technically a "kith-o-taur," but oy, that would've been tricky to work in with Raven already having enough problems.
> 
> Much love to my partner and editor TempestFae. This work is inspired and dedicated to her, and would not have been nearly as amazing without the sweat and tears she put into it. I think this is the last of my old fics I wanna retool, love. I think.


End file.
